I just found an amazing book that inspires and encourages us singletons to hold out for The One.
Having run the gamut of the dating world, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better to be alone than in bad company. And this is precisely how love and relationship expert Kathryn Alice feels.
Her book, Love Will Find You, has become my relationship bible.
Alice feels we’ve entered the Era of the Soulmate. Men and women alike have the opportunity to support themselves financially. It’s no longer a social taboo to remain single. And being an un-wed parent is more widely accepted by society as a whole. So really, the only reason left for being in a relationship is LOVE.
Hooray for LOVE!
First she asks us to believe that our soulmate is out there.
Believing is key. We create our reality by what we choose to believe. So if we expect to find our perfect match, we must believe they’re out there.
The more you believe that you have a true love, the quicker you will attract that person.
Then she says that nothing will keep us from meeting our soulmate. And even if we don’t like going out to bars or online dating, she assures us that our paths will coincide. When I read that statement I wanted to shout it from the rooftops!
I believe that it is not possible to miss your soulmate, that forces beyond your control will propel you into each other’s arms. Nothing will keep you apart.
*sigh* Just love that. 🙂
For most of the book she focuses on the Love Magnets. The inner work we must do in order to welcome our soulmate into our lives. This includes setting an intention, clearing out all our negative thoughts around love, and letting go completely of any past relationships that might be hanging on to our heart.
She also stresses that staying true to ourselves and expressing our truth is vital. That if we present to others what we think is attractive and attempt to conceal our perceived flaws, our soulmate won’t recognize us. How could they if we’re too busy trying to be someone else?
Your soulmate will think your seemingly odd traits are attractive. Exuding the confidence that you’re good enough exactly as you are is the most powerful magnet there is.
So if you’ve been struggling out in the dating world, just know that there’s a special someone out there waiting to meet you. And by believing they’re out there, letting go of negative beliefs, and embracing the whole of you, love will find you.
So what’re your thoughts? Do you believe there’s someone out there who’s perfectly suited for you? Are you optimistic about finding true love? Or have you already found your soulmate? 😉
Photo courtesy of Frank Selmo
Ingrid Schaffenburg's Blog 
I don’t think there is only one person out there for each of us, but I do believe that there are many perfect possibilities for us out there and they will find us when the time is right. I don’t believe that we have to go to bars or do internet dating or speed dating to meet the perfect guy for us. I believe your book is right about love finding us. And it makes sense to me that it will find us when we are happy being ourselves, not out there desperately trying to find someone to spend Friday night with. If we love our lives and ourselves just as we are, then we will be ready to love someone else, and love can come and get us.
Totally agreed! And SO happy to not feel the need to internet date or bar hop. It’s so not me! And while the romantic in me likes the idea of there being one guy out there that’s perfect for me I’m willing to accept that there are several. But all we need is ONE right?! So really, as long as we find one that’s all that matters 🙂
Sounds like an insightful book and lady! If we attract what we give off, look out, Ingrid. Mr. Super-Awesome-Wonderfullness is soon to find ya!
I found my love when I’d stopped seeking. That said, I was doing much of what you and Alice recommend—living fully and authentically. So was my pre-hubby. 😉
Awwww 🙂 Thanks August! I hope so 😉
And yay for you for finding true love! It’s stories like yours that give me hope 🙂
I don’t believe in The One, but I like the positivity of this book:believe in yourself and be confident and you will attract that back to yourself, very like The Secret. I think there’s more than one right person out there for everyone. Thank God we don’t have to look for love in nightclubs, been there, done that, have the t-shirt 🙂
Much like The Secret. And her book is incredibly positive which is what all us singles really need. Hope 🙂
Soooo done with nightclubs. The only ones I care to go to are piano bars and jazz clubs for the music 🙂
I’d love to try a jazz or piano bar. Don’t think there are any of those near me though 😦
Fantastic post and I am a true believer because those are exact steps I took and love found me. Actually sort of slapped me across the face. LOL!
FAB post – wowzers!
haha! I just LOVE your story. Your post on love still gives me chills 🙂
I found my soul mate at 35 1/2….on-line! It was my 1st and only venture into cyber-dating, and 11 weeks after our 1st date, we were saying our vows. Though I’m not sure it can all be credited to seeking. We discovered about a month into it that we had already met…when we lived next door to each other, 29 years prior.
So yes, while I believe in kismet and serendipity, I also believe in being an active participant in one’s fate.
LOVE what you’re putting out there, Inga!
XOXO
Thanks Jody!!! No freakin’ way?! You were neighbors?? That’s nuts!
Just love your story Jody. Amazing 🙂 And SO happy you’re happy!
P.S. Call me 😉
Great points all throughout! It only seems reasonable that there are multiple options, otherwise all the heartbroken people in the world would be left behind thereafter.
“So really, the only reason left for being in a relationship is LOVE.” Has there ever really been any other GOOD reason??
Well lots of people get into relationships because they don’t want to be alone. They want to be financially supported. Or they feel pressured from their families to just get married. Sounds obvious right?! But love isn’t always the reason. But love is the only GOOD reason like you said!
Oh, gosh, I’m torn. Do I believe in soulmates? Absolutely. For me? Therein lays the question. Sometimes I think it’s too late. I have two growing children and no means to get out there and mix it up. If the right person came along I’d make room, of course. I just don’t know if he’ll show after all this time. I’m not as young as I used to be, or at least feel that way. I would still be open to love, I just don’t know at this point, if it will occur.
Read the book! You’ll be convinced that you can never be too old to meet your soulmate. It can happen 🙂
Great post, Ingrid. having been separated / divorced 5 years, I find internet dating a disappointment. The belief that someone will come along when you’re NOT looking is a great comfort.
Oh good! She gives us all that boost of confidence and hope that we need 🙂
Ingrid, that photograph you chose at the head of this post with the red umbrella is just beautiful.
Isn’t it!? Just love it.
Interesting, Ingrid.
Forcing yourself into a relationship reminds me of the phrase “how bad do you want someone.” Sometimes the pressures we imagine are real aren’t real at all.
Cheers!
So true. Most of what we believe is all in our minds anyway 🙂
My son came home and announced that some teacher told him that most people can only fall in love four times. After that, it is very difficult to be vulnerable or open oneself up to someone else. I thought thst was really interesting. And I counted. My husband is my fourth love. And he showed up kinda late in the game. Interesting stuff.
Ingrid, are you on Twitter? If so, what is your handle?
Interesting! At first I thought “What a terrible thing to tell a young person. Why put limits on love!” But then I realized that I’ve been in love 3 times and now that I’m ready to share the rest of my life will someone, my next one will be my fourth and hopefully last. Hmmmm. Fascinating. I wonder where they get that data from?
@ischaffenburg (if that doesn’t work try ingridschaff)
I believe in soulmates. My husband of 35 years was my soulmate. Devastatingly lost to cancer 3 years ago.
I believe there is more than one soulmate for each person, and I would love to enjoy another warm and wonderful relationship, sharing ideas, plans, and just comfortable time together. However, I find it impossible to let go of my past relationship completely.
Is it too soon for me? Do I need to let more time pass before I can trust the ‘Forever’ aspect of a relationship again? Can I become open and meld with another again? Or will I always seek what is no longer there?
Go get Kathryn Alice’s book Love Will Find You!! I promise it’ll instill hope in you again and if you truly desire to find your second soulmate, I believe you’ll get your wish 🙂 She is highly encouraging and has testimonials in her book of widows and widowers just like you. It can happen again. That is for sure 🙂 But for what it’s worth, I feel, and she will tell you the same, that in order to welcome another soulmate into your life you have to let go of him. And letting go doesn’t mean you love him any less. It just means you are moving forward with YOUR life here on earth. And if having another love would bring you happiness, I’m sure he’d want that for you as well 🙂
I believe. I enjoyed life with a soulmate for 35 years before a devastating loss to cancer.
I believe it is possible that there are more than one soulmate per person, I’m just not sure I’m ready to take a chance that ‘forever’ may not be forever….. again. I’m not sure I could bear the loss of two soulmates in one lifetime.
For some reason I missed your comment. I am so sorry!
I feel your pain. But what a gift to have spent 35 years with a soulmate. You are so lucky! Some people never find one. Wherever you’re at in your search for love, I hope you find what it is you need. 🙂
sounds like good book….very postive thoughts..
So interesting this post and comments, I am 24yrs from Nigeria and I see old people looking for soulmates and they are getting it and I am here feeling a little bit lost in love but these love posts boost my hope cuz it shows there are so many people looking for true love so I am not alone in this journey of love and I can get one because pple older than me have gotten their soulmates which interests me so much. Thank u for this type of posts, they boost my morale and to be sincere, Nigeria needs this. Can u come.
I would love to! I’ve wanted to come to Africa for some time now. 🙂
I’m so glad this post helped you. The whole reason I started blogging about love is because I feel it’s the most powerful force on earth. And if we could all just focus on love, this world would be a much better place. So simplistic and obvious but for some reason fear and hatred still rule in so many areas of this world. You are not alone in your journey. But if you can find the love within yourself, do what makes you happy and brings you to life, you’re sure to find your soulmate that much quicker 🙂