Irony and the Simple Life

A few weeks back, I decided to take a break from my normal routine and take my dog to the dog park. Fort Worth hasn’t quite caught up to the trend of dog parks and the only one worth going to is clear across town, hence the reason I’d never been. But on this day I decided it was worth the drive just for her to get out and run around, sans leash.

So after we cleared a very annoying shih tzu at the entrance who was barking incessantly at every dog and human that came through the gate, I found a bench where I could sit while Edie played.

As I sat, scanning Facebook, I found an article someone had posted entitled Living With Less. A lot Less by Graham Hill that grabbed my attention. Turns out, this guy who made a killing in the 90′s after selling his Internet start-up, now lives in a 420 square-foot studio. Not because he squandered all his money away but because he’d realized after living the high life for so long, his possessions actually began to possess him rather than give him the freedom he thought this new lifestyle would bring. So, by choice, he scaled back and is now happier than ever.

I love reading stories like this. Just affirms my own belief in less is more. I learned this when I moved to New York in 2009 with no more than 2 suitcases. And was happy as a clam.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love having nice things but having lived with less for a short period of time, I really got that lesson. That stuff is just stuff. And what matters more is the experiences we have and the ones we hold dear.

So here I was. Enjoying this sunny Monday afternoon. In the park. Watching my dog run free. Enjoying random conversations with dog owners. Affirmed once again that the simple life is the way to go. Only to return to my car. Window smashed. Purse, laptop, and briefcase gone.

Talk. About. A test.

Shock, anger, and a myriad of emotions followed. For the next several hours I dealt with all the necessary protocol that one must do in an instance like this. Calling the cops, canceling credit cards, getting the Mac people to erase and lock my computer. And it wasn’t until later that I realized the irony. Here I was reading an article that encouraged us not to get caught up in material stuff and then BAM! Stuff taken. Gone.

Now this wasn’t really in alignment with what Hill was talking about and my reactions were more because of the personal violation than anything else. But in the end, that’s what I had to reckon with. That although it was a loss that insurance was not going to cover, it was just stuff.  And I count my lucky stars that Edie and I were left unharmed.

It could’ve been a lot worse.

So how about you? Ever had an experience that really made you realize what was important in your life? What 5 things in your life could you not live without?

Gratitude

April 5, 2013

17 Comments

Beauty of a Woman BlogFest

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Today’s post is inspired by The Beauty of a Woman Blogfest. I participated in last years and had such a blast sharing, reading, and communing with all the participants that I couldn’t wait to be a part of this one!

The above is an excerpt of the Sam Levenson poem, The Beauty of a Woman, that first inspired author August McLaughlin to create a blogfest entirely dedicated to exploring the definition of beauty. Recognizing how important it is that we look beyond what’s on the surface to what really matters on the inside.

Last year, I wrote a story on body image which I found completely liberating. But this year I wanted to dedicate this post to my mom — the woman who taught me about the true meaning of beauty.

It’s not as though she ever sat me down and had a “beauty” talk or ever tried to explain to me what it meant to her. Rather, she showed me by example in her every day life.

A professional ballerina, my mom’s makeup drawer was always well stocked with all the essentials for performance days but on every other “normal” day, she hardly wore a stitch of makeup. Blessed with natural beauty, she usually just applied a bit of mascara and maybe some lipstick before dashing out of the house each morning.

She was always more concerned with her passions — her work and her family — than what makeup or clothing she wore. Mind you, she always looked fabulous. It’s not as though she let herself go or didn’t make the effort to pretty herself but she never made a fuss about it. And always focused on the more meaningful things in her life.

Loving her family. Teaching her students. Being of service. Expressing her artistry. And most importantly, staying true to herself. Which as I’ve found over the years, is one of the most beautiful features anyone can have. She had a strong sense of purpose and held true to that every day. Giving her love and light to this world in the special way that only she can.

Despite the cliché of dancers being overly obsessed with appearances, I never once heard or saw her act in such a way. I never heard one utter of self-deprecation or dissatisfaction over what she saw in the mirror.

I really appreciate this now as an adult as I recognize what an anomaly this was. Over the years, I’ve heard horror stories from friends about how their mother’s spoke to them concerning their bodies or their hair or other such superficial matters.

So to this day, I have an immense amount of gratitude toward my mother that she raised me in an environment where internal beauty was prized over the external. Where purpose, ambition, and intellect was more important that the latest fashion. And where love and acceptance of one’s self was promoted on a daily basis.

Thank you Mom. I am eternally grateful for these gifts and so many others!

Pop on over to August’s blog to check out and read the other entries for the BOAW BlogFest and a chance to win a Kindle Fire or Amazon gift card!

Also, I’d love to hear YOUR comments on what beauty means to you!

Gratitude, Inspiration

February 22, 2013

22 Comments

Expect the Unexpected

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
- Allen Saunders

Okay, now that we’ve all had a chance to settle into our resolutions for the year and recognize which ones are actually going to stick, I wanna offer a little inspiration from one of my favorite movies, Dan in Real Life.

Steve Carell stars in this comedy-drama about a widower and his three children who embark on their annual family reunion in New England. In the beginning, Carell’s character discovers his middle daughter (in his mind, not of age to date yet) is “in love” with a boy from her class. She declares she knew after only three days that Marty was the one for her. Carell is adamant, as a parent would so dutifully be, that it’s not possible to fall in love in three days.

He tries to educate his daughter on matters of the heart, bring her down out of the clouds, and teach her the “real” ways of love. That you can’t possibly know you want to be with someone the rest of your life if you’ve only known them for three days. Then Carell gets a dose of his own medicine when he happens upon a woman in the local bookstore. And in the end, must surrender to his daughter. Realizing how very wrong he was.

He parlays this learning experience into his weekly newspaper column on parenting, which is sage advice for us all:

Today, I wanna break from my usual format and talk to you about the subject of plans. Not so much my plan for this column but more like life plans. And how we all make them. And how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own. But if we’re really honest with ourselves, most of the time, our plans don’t work out as we’d hoped. So instead of asking our young people, “What are your plans? What do you plan to do with your life?”, maybe we should tell them this– Plan to be surprised.

So along with our resolutions to improve our lives– be it with work, relationships, spirituality, health– how about also resolving to stay open to the unexpected? Open to surprise? I don’t know about you but I love surprises. Life would be boring without them. And often, life has something better in store for us than we could ever imagine.

If we just stay open.

So how about you? What’s surprised you in your life in a good way? Something or someone you didn’t plan on but couldn’t imagine your life without?

Inspiration

January 31, 2013

16 Comments

Let Not These Children Die in Vain

A couple of months back, I was having a particularly rough day when a friend of mine offered to give me a free massage. At first I couldn’t accept. This is her livelihood and well aware of all the financial pressure she’s under, I politely declined. Then she turned to me, big smile, and said, “Hey, don’t worry about it. We’re all in this together sister!”

We need more people like her in this world. Especially in light of Friday’s atrocity in Connecticut.

I, like you, have heard the outcries in the news and social media, and in speaking with loved ones. Our lives have once again been collectively shaken at a very deep level. And it’s all very apparent – Something must change.

I hear many people saying they don’t know if things CAN change. That perhaps this is too big of a problem to address. That things are out of hand with no hope of reeling it back in. But I beg to differ. Each one of us can do something.

I, for one, can no longer allow these tragic events to transpire without instituting real change in my own life. I feel we must all look deep within our selves, our hearts, and ask how we can help this broken world. It begins with US. We must push our politicians to institute change, of course, but we cannot wait for them. We must start HERE. We must start NOW.

Look around you. Who in your life needs help? Who around you is being neglected? Who is displaying concerning signs? Who do you know is suffering in silence but afraid to reach out for help?

We must come together as a people. Love one another. Accept one another. If we ever expect to have peace on earth.

No man is an island. It takes a village. We hear these phrases growing up but as we go about our daily lives, often absorbed in our own little worlds, we forget. That we’re all connected. Many may feel insignificant, like our efforts won’t make a difference, but I’m here to tell you they will. What we do on a daily basis does affect the whole.

So let’s not allow these innocent souls to die in vain. Let this event penetrate each one of us to the extent that we demand a change. And if I could ask for one thing, it would be that we all come together. Instead of pointing fingers, we listen and accept. Accept we’re all individuals with varying opinions and acknowledge that further divisiveness will only distance us from the real issue at hand and cause more harm than good.

Compassion, love, empathy, and acceptance should be the words of the day. The first step toward finding a resolution is understanding that this is a multifaceted problem whose roots run deep. There’s bound to be another perpetrator like this out there and the sooner we come together, the better off we’ll all be.

The state of our society may not be resolved over night, but what can change over night, in an instant, is the state within each of us. And after all, we ARE society. We ARE the people. One people. So let’s each look within ourselves. Our hearts. And be honest. About what it is WE feel called to do. To change in our own lives. For the better.

It doesn’t matter how large or small the action is, what’s important is we do something.

Sign petitions.

Write your Senator.

Smile at a stranger.

Volunteer at an organization that calls your name.

Mentor a troubled youth.

Come together.

Repair a broken relationship.

Commit 26 acts of kindness in remembrance.

Promote acceptance.

Hug your children a little deeper.

Say “I love you”, and mean it.

Believe in the goodness of humanity.

Believe that there is an answer.

The options are endless. As Gandhi said: Be the change you wish to see in the world. So what’ll it be? What action will you take today to bring more goodness and light to this world?

Photo courtesy of Karin Dalziel

Gratitude, Inspiration

#26Acts, Connecticut, Oneness, Sandy Hook, society

December 18, 2012

7 Comments

Giving Thanks. Everyday.

Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will, never, ever have more. ~ Oprah

Earlier this week I had a “moment.” Where it hit me how much in my life I’d been taking for granted.

I was telling a friend about an issue I was having which was work related and she pointed out to me that the solution was right in front of my face. It’d been there all along!

For months I’d been agonizing over what to do about said problem but in that moment, it was as if the clouds lifted and I could see the reality of my life. Clear as day. I was enormously relieved and slept better that night than I had in months.

Now… I’ve had these epiphanies before. Moments of clarity that translate into profound gratitude. But of course, as we tend to do, I get back into my daily grind and forget what it is I have and the pursuit of more takes over.

What often happens, I feel, is we get so used to chasing after things- jobs, relationships, money, personal goals- we can’t enjoy what’s right in front of us. I read a book once that talked about this theory. That if we’re in constant pursuit of something… even when we get the thing we’re pursuing, we aren’t satisfied since the mode of pursuit is so ingrained in us. So we go on to pursue the next thing, that won’t satisfy us.

This is what the advertising industry plays off of. That feeling that what we have is never enough. So we have to buy more, do more, try harder. But the reality is, we have it better than most anyone on this planet. And no matter how bad we think we may have it, millions of others have it worse.

So on this week of thanksgiving, can you stop and really look around at what it is you have in your life, and give thanks? Can you be satisfied with what you have NOW?

The pursuit of more is the American way and it can be a noble pursuit. But not if it blinds us to what we have right now. And as I discovered on a whole new level this week, sometimes the answer to our happiness and satisfaction is right before our eyes. We just have to stop long enough to see it.

Give thanks. Be giving. Everyday.

So how about you? What is it you have to be thankful for today?

Gratitude, Inspiration

November 24, 2012

10 Comments

There’s No Place Like Home

Lately I’ve blogged on the importance of home and the natural process of letting go that this time of year brings about. And oddly enough, a passage was just read in my weekly meditation circle that touches on both.

I felt it especially timely to share after yesterday’s hurricane on the east coast where home is on a lot of people’s minds. Home, in every sense of the word.

Macrina Wiederkehr’s passage from Seasons of Your Heart titled Tourist or Pilgrim? is, in my opinion, a masterpiece. Each time I read it, something new pops out at me.

What stands out for you?

I stand on the edge of myself and wonder,
Where is home?
Oh, where is the place
where beauty will last?
When will I be safe?
And where?

My tourist heart is wearing me out
I am so tired of seeking
for treasures that tarnish.
How much longer, Lord?
Oh, which way is home?
My luggage is heavy.
It is weighing me down.
I am hungry for the holy ground of home.

Then suddenly, overpowering me
with the truth, a voice within me
gentles me, and says:

There is a power in you, a truth in you
that has not yet been tapped.
You are blinded
with a blindness that is deep
for you’ve not loved the pilgrim in you yet.

There is a road
that runs straight through your heart.
Walk on it.

To be a pilgrim means
to be on the move, slowly
to notice your luggage becoming lighter
to be seeking for treasures that do not rust
to be comfortable with your heart’s questions
to be moving toward the holy ground of home
with empty hands and bare feet.

And yet, you cannot reach that home
until you’ve loved the pilgrim in you
One must be comfortable
with pilgrimhood
before one’s feet can touch the homeland.

Do you want to go home?
There’s a road that runs
straight through your heart.
Walk on it.

Photo courtesy of Jessica Lin Photography

Gratitude, Inspiration

home, ingrid schaffenburg, letting go, love, Macrina Wiederkehr

October 30, 2012

6 Comments

Surrender to the Season

For about a month now, one of my teachers at Urban Yoga has been discussing the natural state of  what we go through this time of year. And every time I hear him, it rings true.

Fall is a time of turning inward. Reevaluating. Shedding that which no longer serves us.

Many cultures around the world celebrate their New Year in September for this reason. It’s ingrained in our bodies to go through this process. To pause and reflect upon the past year and decide what it is we want for the coming year.

I, for one, have certainly felt fall’s effects. Which is why I’ve been a bit more quiet in both my real and virtual worlds. I love writing and the blogosphere and I believe in discipline and pushing through whatever creative blocks we experience but sometimes we must surrender.

Sometimes surrendering can be our most powerful action.

Letting go. This is something I wrote a lot about last spring and a subject I quite enjoyed delving into, though I was tested on the matter constantly. Apparently as soon as you start teaching something, you’re sure to be met with situations that test your ability to practice what you preach.

Letting go is nothing I made up. It’s just a law of nature and a huge part of any spiritual practice.

I know with our many obligations and fast-paced lives it can be hard to grasp this concept. We have a tendency in our culture to never stop. No matter what time of year, we always go go go. Slow is a four-letter word used to describe things we detest like dial-up or snail mail. We feel if we slow down, we might miss something.

But this really isn’t our fault. I believe it has a lot to do with technology’s effect on us. We’ve just simply gone with the flow.

For decades now, scientists and engineers have made it their goal to new and improve everything. To make things quicker in an attempt to enhance our lives. To make things more convenient.

Noble goals and thanks to them, we can zap our meals in the microwave in 5 minutes instead of laboring for hours. Or check stocks, pay bills and say hi to friends through one, lighting-fast medium as opposed to the long form we dealt with in the past.

But instead of adding time to our lives through these convenient technologies, it seems none of us ever has enough time.

Most of us are stressed, over-worked, over-tired and barely take the time to come up for air.

So don’t feel guilty if you too are feeling the desire to slow down in your life right now and know that it’s only natural. By slowing down and taking the time to reevaluate and reprioritize, we may very well add the time to our lives that we so desperately seem to need.

So how about you? Do you feel the need to slow down this time of year? What’s your favorite part of fall? Have you felt the need to let go of people or things in your life lately? Do share.

Inspiration

fall, ingrid schaffenburg, letting go

October 26, 2012

8 Comments