Over the weekend, my boyfriend and I were walking our dogs down to the local taco shop to grab some breakfast. We live in a very urban area so lots of comings and goings. Restaurants, clubs, lofts. At one point, a man walked by us with a rolling trash can, making that awful grating noise, and our dog Cody started growling.
This didn’t faze me one bit since Cody is a very vocal dog and will sometimes growl at random things. He’s a rescue dog. We give him grace. But this time, Greg pointed out why he was reacting this way.
Apparently back at his old condo, one of the maintenance men was walking by them and messed with Cody by jabbing one of those long trash picker-upper tongs at him. Even though the man was playing, Cody viewed it as an attack and started barking. Because of the fact the man was dragging a rolling trash can along the pavement, Cody now associates a trash can with fear and feels the need to protect his pack.
We laugh and can all see this as illogical. But how many times since infancy have we made these associations ourselves? We have an experience that changes our perception of the world and we start reacting to the world from that perception. That belief. Which is great when we’re young because that’s how we learn to cope.
Some associations are good. You put your hand on a hot burner and learn never to do that again. You pet the strange dog which then sends you to the ER for 5 stitches in your lip, you learn to be wary of strange animals.
When it becomes an issue is when the stories you’ve told yourself no longer serve you and actually prevent you from forward progress in your life. Perhaps you notice a repetitive behavior pattern in your relationships. That no matter who you’re with, it always ends this way. Or perhaps it’s with money or your career. Perhaps anytime you’re up for a promotion, you somehow manage to sabotage it.
Psychologists call this a Pavlovian response. It’s a way in which we’ve been conditioned to respond to our environment and are often unaware of the stimulus and its effects. It’s so much a part of us and our behavior that its become the norm. We just automatically react in a certain way.
Cody, the fierce sled dog
Recently I took an entrepreneurial workshop in LA that dealt partly with this notion and how to dissolve those responses that don’t act in our favor. Because if you’re setting out to create a business and wish to be successful, you’d better know where your blind spots are. If you’re interested in more information about this workshop, message me and I’d be happy to talk with you about it. It’s fascinating work.
Many of us have these self-imposed barriers we’re trying to knock down in our lives in order to get what we want, right? Whether it’s a promotion, a better job, a healthier relationship, more money. I imagine we all have some aspect of our lives we’d like to improve so as your friend, I’d like to encourage you to explore this for yourself. Because the fact is, we’re all governed by our inherent responses to things until we become aware of them. And even then, it’s difficult to unwind the tie because many of them are years if not decades deep. Awareness, though, is the first step.
So how bout you? Can you recognize any rolling trash cans in your life? Reactions to things that are illogical upon reflection? What area of your life would you like to improve? Any methods, books, or workshops you found useful that you’d like to share with the community? Do share. 🙂
Ingrid, I tried to leave a comment late last night and for some reason it didn’t go through. So I thought I’d come back when I was more coherent. It could have been my problem, not yours. I hate when that happens. lol. Anyway, I think we all have issues or life long patterns that have been engrained in us that are hard to overcome. First of all, we need to recognize that they exists, which takes a bit of humility on our part in order to do so. It’s not easy to admit that we may be the cause of our own problems. It’s always easier to blame someone else. But when they become repetitive, then it may be time to take a look inside and see where the real problem is stemming from. But hey, we’re all a work in progress. I can only imagine all the wonderful benefits you gained by taking that class. It has to be quite an empowerment. That’s awesome. Thanks for sharing it with us. And keep that sweet Cody away from the garbage can. Poor puppy. ((Hugs!))
I sure will! Thanks for sharing Karen! And yes… completely agree. They’ll always be something to work on but its the things that are repetitive and are holding us back in some way that need the attention. 🙂
Loved this blog, Inge!
Love,
Mom
Something my dog taught me is that this can work in positive ways, too. My dog came from a migrant home (the family were from Eastern Europe). I didn’t realise, until I moved into a mixed neighbourhood, that he was comforted by the sounds of people speaking in a foreign language. I thought noise of the neighbours next door would send him into a frenzy, but he would sit quietly by the fence with his eyes closed, and listen to their radio, and the sounds of their voices. Later, when I moved, the only thing that would comfort him when he was home alone was the radio, turned to a foreign language station. It made me so aware of how important our early sensory impressions are, both good and bad! 🙂
Wow! That is so sweet! And you’re right. They’re both good and bad. Makes me wonder about all the little things. It’s why each of us is so unique. There’s not one of us out there that’s had the same experience. 🙂