If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.
If it doesn’t, it was never meant to be. ~ Anonymous
Our emotional, physical and spiritual health all rely heavily on this principle and our ability to apply it. I know. I’ve tested it out many a time.
This time last year I was confronted with the reality that I needed to leave New York. I’d dreamt of living there since I was a little girl and finally made it there the year before, but being in the middle of a career transition in one of the biggest, most expensive cities in the world, in the middle of an economic recession, it had become glaringly obvious that I needed to let go and go home for a while. At least until I was back on my feet with a steady job.
Something kept tugging at my heart telling me I needed to go home, which I found odd. When I left Texas at 23, I vowed never to return except to visit. I declared that the world is filled with far more interesting places to inhabit and since I’d already lived the first quarter of my life there, there was no need to go back.
But instead of listening to what my heart was trying to tell me, I continued pressing on and pressing on like the good little ballerina I was until a fracture in my foot literally stopped me in my tracks.
I was heartbroken. And upon finally coming to the conclusion that New York and I just weren’t a good fit at this point in time, I wrote my Dear John letter on the subway one night:
My love affair with New York isn’t over but like any intense relationship, sometimes you just need your space. And that’s the one thing New York lacks, is space. Like a good lover, New York feeds me in many ways but at the moment, he’s smothering me. I just need a breather.
A few months later, I found myself back at home in Texas. My friends and family were all shocked but my instincts proved to be right.
Since being home I feel like I’ve come full circle in many ways. I’ve rekindled old relationships and discovered new ones. But the thing that’s become most clear to me is my purpose.
New York was too loud for me to hear the whispers of my heart so by coming to a more relaxed and familiar place, I was able to finally listen and walk in the direction that I believe is my greatest destiny.
Sometimes our greatest treasures appear when we embrace the unknown.
The irony here is that along with my new business venture here in Texas and full-time writing career, not only will I be able to move back to New York at some point but I’ll be able to work from anywhere in the world. And for someone who has “Live in Europe” at the top of her bucket-list, it’s a dream come true! But, one could argue, none of this would have happened had I not had the courage to let go of what I THOUGHT my life should be.
This experience reminds me of my favorite Joseph Campbell quote:
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
There’s only so much we can control in life.
And it’s often hard to see the forest for the trees but if we can just trust our heart and let go, somehow, it all works out.
So how about you? Ever had to let go of something you couldn’t bear to lose only to find out life was better off once you let go? Have you ever had to let go of your own expectations in order to find the life that was waiting for you?
Photo courtesy of denaemusic.com
It’s been difficult for me to let go of WWBC. I feel like we’re killing a baby Kristen and I birthed. But, as you said, sometimes you just have to let go.
Ah… but it’s morphing into something bigger and better. Just you wait 😉
I had a very similar experience while living in California. I was in a terrible marriage that I was trying hard to work through and not give up on. The little voice in my head and the feeling in my gut was telling me to go home, but I wasn’t sure why. I interpreted my instinct to go home as a final means to save my marriage. As you can suspect, moving didn’t help. Our problems followed us back home and only intensified. Today, I recognize that my instincts to go home were dead on. Instinctively, I needed to return to my support system of long-time friends and family to help me get through a divorce that was inevitable. Returning to the nest gave me the courage to do what I knew needed to be done. My health and happiness were both on the line, and although the separation and divorce were painful experiences from which I am still wounded, I am in a much better place today with a new-found confidence in my ability to make good choices.
Awesome! Sorry you had to go through that but I know things are on the upswing for ya which is always a nice feeling. Yep… there’s just something about coming home that somehow sets everything right 🙂 Now, if only we could find a local dance club that suited our needs 😉
Beautifully said and written Ingrid. I love how you use your personal stories to reflect the analogies. It makes it a wonderful read and easy to see how it could be applied to our own life.
I’ve had this experience in my life a number of times. Hanging on to dreams or wants so tightly that we forget to ask ourselves periodically “is this what I really want? Is it making me happy? Should I adjust?” My first marriage for example was all about having a wedding…I learned pretty quickly to let go of some of my own ideals and expectations so I could see the forest. A sometimes painful lesson but one that we often look back on with gratitude.
I am THRILLED you’ve achieve your happily ever after…here’s to building on that…up up up and away!
Yippee!! Thanks Natalie! And I’m so glad that the stories resonate. I bear my soul in the hopes to help another 🙂
Interesting, my next post partly mirrors this same line of thought. Sometimes an unexpected event (a fractured foot or a round of layoffs) triggers a decision for us that leads in a new and positive direction.
Perhaps the greatest measure of faith is trusting in the face of the unknown. Much can be learned by listening to our hearts if we simply tune in. And there’s so much to see! Great post!
Thank you George! And I completely agree. It’s all about having faith and trusting that little voice inside 😉 Can’t wait to read yours. I was also planning to expand on that notion as well so look forward to seeing where you take it.
This post so hit home with me! I have had to let go of pretty much all the plans for my future. I thought I would always be a teacher in my hometown and marry a nice guy, and settle down and have the “normal” life I see on TV. But my heart has been telling me for a few years now that teaching is not really my calling. I’m good at it, but that doesn’t make it my purpose. And all those nice guys who were looking for a wife just weren’t right for me. I realized the reason for all of it when I visited Miami in November. I knew instantly that was where I was meant to be. Now I am ok with giving up what I thought I was supposed to want and I trust that what is waiting for me is even better than I could have imagined.
And it will be. Just you wait! You’re honoring your heart so you can’t go wrong.
What an exciting time 🙂 Best of luck in Miami!!
I feel the exact way about LA. I’m always drawn to the west coast for some strange reason. I thought I could make it work in Los Angeles, but of course it was very, very hard. The worst was being lonely, that’s when I couldn’t take it anymore. Ten years later I have LOTS of friends in LA who are struggling as I was, still at some point, I see myself living there a few months at a time per year. How? I don’t know, it’s an instinct. But if it doesn’t happen ever, I won’t be hurt. I’m holding onto my dreams. If something isn’t meant to be, I’ll pray for guidance and follow my heart.
That’s awesome Mary. A perfectly reasonable goal. And I feel the same. I could live there a few months out of the year. It’d be tolerable 😉
Hi Mary…i am a teacher, artist ,actress. Teaching allows me to have breaks to do my creative work. I live in chicago, but have always imagined flying to LA for auditions, or acting gigs, etc. As a teacher, i can fly to LA in the summer or over holiday breaks.
🙂 Just DOIT
if you only knew how much your words resonate with me & my life.
i had a dream to live in europe. so, after a divorce (unplanned event #1), i moved to denmark without any job (but the prospect of one, which turned out to not materialize), lived with an old lady for free, but eventually had to move back to north carolina after only 4 months. crushed? not completely. but disappointed, yet knowing somewhere deep inside me that it was right. it was all part of a process.
now, completely unexpectedly, 4 years later, i have been living in sweden for almost 2 years. i did not plan or imagine any of this, but it has turned out so much more amazing than i ever could have dreamed. yes. i had to let go. but, what i received in return was so much more better. actually, what i received after my 4 month stay in denmark was the joy of knowing my true self & learning how to live from my soul.
and joseph campbell? gaaah. love him.
thanks for your post!
You’re so welcome! What a wonderful journey you’ve been on. I’ve visited your blog so I was familiar with your story. Isn’t it nice to be on the “other side” of things now and enjoying your life? Looking back on things you went through that at the time didn’t make sense but now they do? Wonderful isn’t it! 🙂
Hi Ingrid…wow, i ended up here after seeing an old boyfriend whom i have a really unique connection with. I needed to find something to sort out my feelings. I realize he may be a “LINK” for healing. And, i Let Go of attachment so as to let my life unfold naturally…For everyone here, you may wish to check out Steve Jobs Harvard speech..on “Connecting the Dots”. It’s the perfect 3 stories on how his life so perfectly unfolds without a map, and without initially seeming to make sense. I listen to this speech on youtube often. It’s one speech i never get tired of…
I’m so glad this helped you today 🙂 Isn’t it funny how if we just open up and ask, we get exactly what we need? Can’t wait to check out Jobs’ talk. Thank you!
Like you, I wanted out of the town I was born in. I hit the city for college and I found myself excited at first then drained as time went along. It came to financial reasons for me to leave as well and I went back home. Now, I have 2 kids and I hear them say all the time how much they want to get away from this. They will have their moment I’m sure, but I can’t help but wonder if they’ll come home too. I don’t mind it so much here now. In fact, I pretty well enjoy where I’m at in life now. Writing has done wonders for me. So has life.
That’s awesome! Same for me. Writing has been amazing! And I quite enjoy Texas now as well. And through this process I’ve found an inner happiness that made me realize it’s not about outer location, but inner.
Exactly!!
Well written and and as you say, New York and the world are yours forever now because you are holding on to you and seeing where it will take you. Thrilling, isn’t it?
Karen
It sure is Karen! Thank you 🙂
Beautifully written and the sentiment is very powerful to me right now. I’m going through that transition in multiple areas of my life, but especially my writing. I’ve had to let go of a lot of expectations in that area and it’s been painful. But there’s a light at the end of tunnel now that I never expected. And it feels pretty good.
Thanks for sharing!
~Jessica
Visions of Other Worlds
Awesome Jessica! You’re welcome 🙂 Letting go can certainly be one of the most powerful and empowering things we can do. Good for you for letting go and opening up the space for what really wants to come into your life 🙂
Wow…i awaken this morning full of excitement knowing i am perfectly fit into life and like a “rubics cube” every uncertain move can eventually fit together in harmony. I too have had many changes, losses, and fears to see, feel and finally to embrace the newness of my present place. It’s really amazing when you allow yourself to BE.
Wonderful post Ingrid. I can completely relate. I feel I was headed down one path, my eyes on the prize I wanted when life decided it had other plans for me. Things didn’t start happening and I didn’t feel at peace until I let go and let things unfold the way they were meant to. Things are good now. I love the way you used your life to show the relation.
Thank you Debra! Reminds me of that saying “Life happens while you’re making plans.” Glad things are good now 🙂 And so great that you were able to let go and let life show you the way 😉
So powerful! You’re right: a job, a dance career, where you live, the things you “own”, who you live with; any and all of those can change in a heartbeat. Why do we get so attached to them? Who we really are is underneath all the stuff and fluff. Good for you for letting go of the trappings and expectations.
Thanks! And you’re so right. Who we are really is underneath all that stuff. A tough lesson to learn but glad I did 🙂
I am so delighted in the mysterious yet continuous hints i received in my daily life. This blog came randomly and so perfectly aligned with me today, and my questions from last night. It is as though God speaks to me when i ask “what about this experience”?
It happens to often for coincidence.
Great post, Inge!!!!
Love,
Mom