A watched pot never boils.
And that’s exactly how I feel about online dating. You show up for your date. And wait for the pot to boil.
Wait for the flame to ignite.
Don’t get me wrong. I like the idea of being able to submit my profile from the comfort of my home in my jammies, enter in my criteria for my future husband and POOF! My matches appear before my eyes. All in one spot. And any one of them could be the one.
In theory, it’s pretty awesome. I can online shop for a husband at the same time I shop for shoes. It’s a girl’s dream come true! At no other point in history has this been possible. And as technology goes, online dating should be a more advanced, efficient, and quicker way of finding a mate. Perfect for a woman-on-the-go who doesn’t necessarily frequent bars and works from home with her female business partner.
Who, in fact, was the one to convince me to go online in the first place. And a convincing case she made. She was proof internet dating worked. She met, wed, and birthed a child from the man she caught on Match.com. And what a catch he is. One of the most kind, generous, and doting husbands a woman could want. And someone whom she would’ve never crossed paths with had it not been for online dating.
This gave me hope and was impetus to try.
So come January, I gave it a go. It was a new year, and I thought, what the hey. I’ve got nothin’ to lose. I’m willing to try anything once.
Okay, almost anything.
So with her guidance I created a really wacky profile. “The flashier the bait, the more fish you catch,” according to her. And boy did it work.
Men came out of the woodwork. Of the 100+ emails, 4 made the cut. But each date I went on felt like a job interview.
And I guess, in a sense, it was. But this is what I found most disappointing about online dating and the reason why I feel it’s not the right medium for me. In my opinion, it lacks the spontaneity that I love about randomly meeting a person when you’re out and about. When neither of you are looking and it just happens.
I feel the same way about setups. There’s just an element that seems so forced and I feel like love can’t be forced. In all my previous relationships love just happened upon us in a very organic way.
Needless to say, none of the four online prospects worked out. One had a lot of potential but together, we lacked that certain je ne sais quoi. So if I learned anything from this experience it’s that all can look great on paper and sound lovely over the phone, but a “compatible match” online doesn’t account for one of the most vital ingredients necessary in love: chemistry.
Oh, and if the guy only displays one photo in his profile in which he’s wearing sunglasses, it probably means he’s married. Current data suggests that a third of the men using online dating services are married so beware ladies.
So there you have it. I know plenty of unions have blossomed from this medium but, for now, I am happy to bid this online dating thing adieu. And take my chances the old-fashioned way.
So what do you think? In your experience with long-term relationships, was chemistry instantaneous or did it develop over time? Did you know from the moment you met them they were the one for you? Anyone out there in the blogosphere ever tried online dating? What was your experience like? Any wacky stories to share? Come on… I’m dying to know 😉
Photos courtesy of vi.sualize.us & smallbusiness.aol.com