Last week we talked about type in So You Think He’s Not the One? and how we don’t always have an accurate picture in our minds of who’s our best fit for long-term commitment. So if type isn’t the best gauge,
How do we know when we’ve met “the one”?
Natalie Hartford has the best answer I’ve seen to date in Bringing Out the Best in YOU. I had a minor epiphany when I read her post. Her advice is so simple and makes us realize that there’s no need to over-complicate things when it comes to matters of the heart.
In her post, Hartford suggests that finding the perfect mate is about identifying the person who makes you feel the best version of yourself. And it makes perfect sense! If we intend to live our best life, we should choose a partner who brings out the best in us.
It’s a beautiful testament to what love and marriage should be. And the perfect barometer to judge any relationship.
With him, I am more confident, happier, funnier and more honest. With him I feel incredible, empowered, intelligent, and more authentic than ever before. With him, I am the best woman, person, employee, friend, lover, companion etc that I’ve ever been. With him, I am the best me I’ve ever been.
And Hartford, just like Leslie Bennetts, married a guy who wasn’t her type. Further encouragement that opening ourselves up to a broader range of possibilities can lead us to happily ever after.
When I met hubby, I totally wrote him off as not my type… Even once we got together, I still thought it would end up being a fling…and it turned out to be the real deal! I would have never thought it and am so happy I was totally open to the experience…and that I didn’t just discount him.
So instead of paying so much attention to type, how about asking: How does this person make me feel? Do they add value to my life? Because at the end of the day, how can we expect to live our best life if our primary relationships don’t support that?
So what are your thoughts? How do you gauge if a relationship is right for you? If you’re in a relationship now, what was it that made you realize they were the perfect one for you?
Photo courtesy of blog.kicksprout.com
Ingrid Schaffenburg's Blog 
As always, I love reading your posts. I was looking for a younger woman when I met Sharon (don’t ask me why – male vanity?). We’re looking forward to our nineteenth anniversary in a couple of months. Glad I overlooked my requirements.
Nice! Love that David 🙂
I used to gauge my relationship choices purely on heart. Now I cherish the ability to be myself around a person and shine brighter when we’re together as well. As a result, I continue growing personally. (In the past, my relationships worked like cement. LOL) Great post!
Awesome! That’s beautiful August 🙂
This is so true. My husband was not at ALL my type. I thought I wanted a serious intellectual. In fact, I got a total goofball whose greatest gift to me is making me laugh constantly.
I love that! I love a man who can make me laugh too.
“how can we expect to live our best life if our primary relationships don’t support that?”
Bingo!
Yep 🙂
My mother told me if I was willing to let him see me without makeup, in my jammies, bed-head hair, and he’d still kiss me and make me feel beautiful – he was worth checking out more seriously. Was great advice for me.
I hafta agree. Most of them time we’re not walking around in stillettos and full makeup at home so if they don’t jive with that, probably not a good fit.
I judge a relationship by the way I feel around the person. There were times with an ex-boyfriend where I realized that I was miserable when I was around him. I felt insecure and not at all like myself. That was the first clue for me that he was not the one.
Yep. Been there. Our own level of comfortability is a huge clue!
I love this post. I am a matchmaker and I wish more women would be open to dating men who are not their “type.” And if ladies would be more open to meeting a man that is shorter than 6 feet tall, they would be pleasantly surprised.
I agree with Emma. It’s when you find yourself pretending to be someone your not to impress him, that you know it’s just not gonna work. You have to remember your unique and special and don’t need to change–other than to open yourself to possibility–for the other person.
Yep – I definitely loved Nat’s post and this one too. 🙂
My relationship “picker” is seriously flawed, so I’ve learned to let my friends weigh in a bit, since I’m incompetent. The deal with my hubby is that HE picked ME. I just didn’t run away! LOL.
Ingrid, I heard this advice in Church long ago and I’ve always loved it. I think that if they make you the best you that you can be & you think of them as someone who is better than you are, you have the ultimate winning combination. Thanks for this awesome post. 😀
You’re welcome 🙂 Glad you liked it!