Last week we talked about type in So You Think He’s Not the One? and how we don’t always have an accurate picture in our minds of who’s our best fit for long-term commitment. So if type isn’t the best gauge,

How do we know when we’ve met “the one”?

Natalie Hartford has the best answer I’ve seen to date in Bringing Out the Best in YOU. I had a minor epiphany when I read her post. Her advice is so simple and makes us realize that there’s no need to over-complicate things when it comes to matters of the heart.

In her post, Hartford suggests that finding the perfect mate is about identifying the person who makes you feel the best version of yourself. And it makes perfect sense! If we intend to live our best life, we should choose a partner who brings out the best in us.

It’s a beautiful testament to what love and marriage should be. And the perfect barometer to judge any relationship.

With him, I am more confident, happier, funnier and more honest. With him I feel incredible, empowered, intelligent, and more authentic than ever before. With him, I am the best woman, person, employee, friend, lover, companion etc that I’ve ever been. With him, I am the best me I’ve ever been.

And Hartford, just like Leslie Bennetts, married a guy who wasn’t her type. Further encouragement that opening ourselves up to a broader range of possibilities can lead us to happily ever after.

When I met hubby, I totally wrote him off as not my type… Even once we got together, I still thought it would end up being a fling…and it turned out to be the real deal! I would have never thought it and am so happy I was totally open to the experience…and that I didn’t just discount him.

So instead of paying so much attention to type, how about asking: How does this person make me feel? Do they add value to my life? Because at the end of the day, how can we expect to live our best life if our primary relationships don’t support that?

So what are your thoughts? How do you gauge if a relationship is right for you? If you’re in a relationship now, what was it that made you realize they were the perfect one for you?

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