When you stop chasing the wrong things,
you give the right things a chance to catch you.
~Anonymous
How do we know what dream will best suit us as a career?
I feel it’s imperative that we discern between what dreams will make great careers and which will make for enjoyable hobbies.
It took me a long time to figure this one out. For years I pursued what I loved. Because that’s what we’re taught right? Just do what you love. And my parents were living proof that it works. As professional ballet dancers they could not do what they did without a great amount of love. So naturally I followed suit and began following my passion. Well, after years of pursuing acting in LA to no avail, I became disheartened and confused. I thought I was doing the right thing by following my heart so why wasn’t it working?
At this point, I set off on my threadbare journey to find purpose in my life. I traveled the world and dabbled in other interests. Social work, horse training, teaching. But it wasn’t until I read Penelope Trunk’s blogs, How To Find A Job You’ll Love and Bad Career Advice: Do What You Love, that things really clicked for me. She lends the advice, don’t do what you love. Do what you enjoy learning instead.
When we say, “what do you do?” we really mean “what do you learn?” Because that’s what makes a person interesting – what they are learning. No one wants to answer the question what do you do if they have a job where they are not learning. That’s how you know it’s the learning that matters.
I think dreams get a bad rap because a lot of people try the first thing on their list and when it doesn’t work out they think they have to settle for a desk job that ultimately makes them wanna gouge their eye out with a hot poker. I know because I’ve been there. But really it’s as simple as changing the verbiage from love to learn.
Not all dreams are equal. Some are careers and some are hobbies and that’s okay. We all want to “live our dream.” Yet, when we use the “What do I love to learn?” as a litmus test, our paths suddenly come into better focus. We waste less time trying to make hobbies into careers and treating viable careers as hobbies.
And the irony here is when you do what you enjoy learning, you will end up loving what you do.
Photo courtesy of wikipedia
This is really making me think, and I like that. I think that we all need to have dreams, its when we focus only on one dream that problems crop up. My first dream was to dance and that didn’t happen so after a period of feeling sorry for myself I went onto another dream. I love writing not because it’s my dream to be published (although that would be very nice) but so that I can learn how to enchant my readers each and every time. Thanks for posting!
Awesome! You’re welcome!
A thoughtful post, Ingrid . . . Do what you love to learn. I’m going to play with that a bit.You make a good point when you say that some dreams are careers and some are hobbies. I think it becomes a challenge to find your career when you love learning so many different things! It’s sometime difficult to find the thread that pulls it all together.
What I like to say is Do what makes you feel awake and alive.
That’s beautiful! I’m going to post a popular personality test soon- Myers Briggs- which I’ve found helpful in choosing a career. Glad it got you thinking 🙂
I loved this post, Inge!!
love,
Mom
Thanks Ma 😉
Nice blog. I enjoyed reading it. Found it on traveling-through.com
Awesome!! I’ll check that out.
Very nice Ingrid and sooo true! I think you’re going to ‘free’ a lot of people who read this from their self-imposed bondage 🙂
Thank you. That is exactly my intention. If I can help rid someone of their suffering and confusion then my job is done. That’s what brings me joy!
Fantastic insight, Ingrid. And as you know, I relate to your journey…
I knew it was time to move on from acting once the passion had fully dissolved. I had no interest in auditions, acting class or even job opportunities.
When a short film I’d written was picked up by a production company, my heart broke (contrary, right?). I didn’t want it, meaning the *writing* of it, to be over. So…I wrote a short story that turned into a 80k word novel. LOL I never turned back.
If more of us pursued our passions with gusto, we’d have less crime, addiction, poverty, bullying, sleep problems… IMHO. LOVE this post. Can’t wait for more. 🙂
Very inspiring August! I completely agree! A lot of the destruction in our world is due to misdirected energy and corrupted thoughts.
I’m still open to any and all opportunities that come my way but thankfully my life no longer hinges on whether or not I “make” it in acting. Through writing I’ve found my true purpose and calling to inspire and encourage others. I leave it to the powers that be to decide how that will be fulfilled. Be it through books, television, speaking engagements, etc. And I think that’s all we can really do. Head toward our purpose and the vehicles will present themselves.
Great post Ingrid. I forwarded this on to a friend who is struggling with the “what am I doing with my life” question. I think it’s a great way to approach the whole subject for people who don’t yet know what they love.
Awesome. I hope it helps!
Wow… A lot deeper than I was expecting (I came from Kristen Lamb’s blog). And I have to admit that I love the idea of doing the learning & the love will come along for the ride. I have to say that I’ve found that to be true of every aspect of my life. My best friends are awesome people and I love them for it. Do we meet anybody automatically trying to love them? No, we don’t. We grow to love them. And it just makes sense that other things in your life including your work would come the same way. Although there is something to be said for chemistry (inspiration). Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
Awesome perception. I had thought about intimate relationships while I was writing this post but they didn’t make the cut 😉 I’m glad you pointed it out. I don’t know about you, but a relationship doesn’t last long for me if it’s not intellectually stimulating. Also, I feel when we’re too close to something starting out, our feelings are more involved and we’re more likely to feel defeated by the little things. But if we’re constantly learning, there’s always something to look forward to. And it also makes us realize there’s more than one option in terms of career. It doesn’t have to be so do-or-die if our “first love” doesn’t work out.
As someone who spent highschool pursuing his dream of being a professional saxophonist, then switched to his dream of being a horror writer the first two years of college, to then pursuing his dream of being a poet, to then pursuing his dream of being a teacher (the one I’m finally about to achieve) I whole heartily agree that first dream does not necessarily mean only dream. Or best dream. I’d have been miserable as a professional saxophonist who hates jazz.
I agree with what you’re saying above, and I think there’s another element at play in dream failures. It’s that we are (in my opinion) no longer taught how to fail. If we don’t know how to fail, then we also don’t know how to handle a failed dream. As someone achieving at a dream not destined for failure, I am making it a goal to teach people how to fail. Without…you know, failing them.
That’s awesome and so true. A “failure” is cannot be deemed negative as long as we learn something from the experience. I like to call failures “feedback” instead. And every one of us needs to be reminded that most successful people have endured a good amount of failure.
What if what you live to learn is not something you are good at? I love learning about science and the ways things fit together like evolution and being able to literally see into the past but I’m not very good with all the math and sometimes it takes me weeks to grasp a concept. I like learning about these things but it’s not something I love. I do, on the other hand, love children and helping them not really in a teaching way but more of an Occupational Therapist way. That’s what I love. What do I do?
I hear you. There are things I am fascinated by that I could never do professionally but I still enjoy reading about them. Sounds to me the Occupational Therapy is something you’d really love to do so perhaps you should look at that.
I believe we should do what we love and what brings us joy but that doesn’t always work for people. Some can’t make money doing what they love which is why I found Penelope Trunk’s blogs so inspiring. Check out both of those articles and see if any of her advice rings true.
When she says do what you enjoy learning, that’s just another way of finding what it is you’ll love. But like I said, a lot of people don’t know what they love so the idea of “what do I enjoy learning” is a way to get there. You already know what you love so you’re golden!