Love.

Who doesn’t love being in love?

It’s what we long for. It’s what we live for. Be it the amorous love with a life-partner, the loving support between two best friends, or the high we get from hearing a Beethoven concerto.

Love is what we seek, consciously and subconsciously.

I, for one, am a sucker for romance. It’s the underlying theme of all my favorite songs and movies. Westside Story, Four Weddings and a Funeral, The English Patient… yeah, I’m one of those sappy romantics.

But what happens when all the ushy-gushy feelings of passion and excitement fizzle into a more grounded, every day routine? For some, it’s not so fun anymore but like I said in Let the Good Times Roll, this stage in a relationship is where solid unions find their footing. Where we’re put to the test and our true character surfaces.

Love is a verb.

Yeah, I know it’s also a noun but in it’s strongest sense, love is a verb.

You wanna feel love, give some love.

You wanna bring back that loving feelin’? Try lovin’.

I love what Stephen R. Covey says in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when a client came to him for marital advice. The man claimed the love had died between him and his wife. Here’s part of the conversation:

Covey: The feeling just isn’t there anymore?

Client: That’s right. And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?

Covey: Love her.

Client: I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.

Covey: Love her.

Client: You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.

Covey: Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.

Client: But how do you love when you don’t love?

Covey: My friend, love is a verb. Love- the feeling- is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?

Covey then goes on to say that viewing love as a noun is being reactive whereas treating love as a verb is being proactive.

If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so… Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions.

In other words, we are at the mercy of our feelings if we allow our them to rule our life. We hand the keys to our kingdom over to feelings once we deem them our master. And since feelings are fickle little suckers, it’s not such a good idea to put them in control. This principle affects not just our romantic relationships but every other aspect of our lives like work, money, and friendship.

But how often do we rely on feelings to guide us?

As a society we’ve been given this false perception of what love should be. We are taught that if the feelings fade, something’s wrong. Or we’ve been fed this idea that love comes with pain. Tragic love stories abound in cultures worldwide.

Anthony and Cleopatra

Romeo and Juliet

Kris and Kim

Drama is fun and exciting on-screen but in real life, it’s shaky ground on which to base a marriage or long-term relationship.

Even science points to the reality of feelings.

The feeling of “falling in love” is the result of a chemical reaction in our brains involving dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine, among others. It’s been scientifically proven that these feelings of lust and passion fade quickly and are almost gone after 3 years.

[Clearly the chemicals fizzled out much quicker for Kim Kardashian. She's on TV-time after all.]

But if you’ve been connecting with your partner over the years in meaningful ways and not part of a goofy reality show, the chemical oxytocin will be there to save the day.

Oxytocin is the chemical that’s released in the brain during sex which promotes a feeling of bonding between the two people. It’s also the chemical that’s released when a mother nurses her child. This is the chemical glue in relationships. And so long as we take action with our love, oxytocin will be there to bind us to our mate.

Analyzing love like this can take the mystery out of it, I know, but I feel it’s important to know this stuff. Knowledge is power and if we know that eventually those lustful feelings will fade and it’s normal, we won’t be so blindsided. It’s better to be equipped with the proper knowledge to ensure our couple longevity.

Wanna read more? Here’s some juicy reads:

National Geographic article, True Love

Dr. Helen Fisher’s website, a leading expert on love

Why Do Those In-Love Feelings Fade After Time?

Time Magazine article, Biology: The Chemistry of Desire

Next time we’ll talk more about keeping the love alive. But for now, let’s play love doctor! What are your thoughts on all this science stuff? For all you married folk out there, how do you keep the love alive? Any tips you can lend? Inquiring minds would like to know

Photos courtesy of integrityhr.com, en.wikipedia.org, amolife.com, masters-of-photography.com

Happy Fat Tuesday! Laissez les bons temps rouler! Let the debauchery begin.

I LOVE Mardi Gras. My mom grew up in New Orleans and my grandparents lived there all throughout my childhood so I had the wonderful opportunity to spend my spring breaks in N’awlins every year.

For those who may not know, the Mardi Gras season in New Orleans lasts several weeks. There are balls, parades, and parties but all the festivities culminate on Fat Tuesday. It’s the last big blowout before Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. The entire city of New Orleans shuts down and everyone ventures out into the streets, dressed in costume with drink in hand, for one big party.

When I was four I attended my first Mardi Gras parade. Sitting atop my grandpa’s shoulders, arms outstretched and collecting a bucket load of beads, I thought this was the coolest thing ever. Topless women aren’t the only ones racking up beads on Bourbon Street. The paraders have a soft spot in their hearts for kids too

So when I recently reflected on these precious memories, it dawned on me:

Mardi Gras is analogous to monogamous relationships.

How, you say?

Party Time

In the beginning of any new relationship, everything is AWESOME! There’s lots of shiny! You’re engulfed with passion, hanging on to each word they say, every atom in your body feels 100 times its normal size.

You feel like you’re drunk. You can’t think straight. Every moment without them, even taking out the garbage and cleaning the litter box, is a welcome activity because it brings you closer to the hour when you’ll see them next.

You’re seeing life through rose-colored glasses. It’s the honeymoon period. It’s the stage that inspires sonnets, song, and art of all kinds. Even The Seven Wonders of the World like the Taj Mahal. Feelings are high. We’re invincible. It’s like one big party.

Then reality sets in…

The Lenten Season

This is when we realize that, if we want to be in this commitment for the long-haul, there’s going to be sacrifice involved.  Compromising schedules, desires, and holidays. In the case of marriage, avoiding temptation and committing to one bed-mate and tube of toothpaste till death do you part. Consulting your other half before major decisions and realizing, you’re not always going to get your way.

In short, it’s not just about you anymore.

This isn’t the funnest part necessarily, but it’s still vitally important. The issues that get worked out here are the meat and potatoes of any relationship. This is the make-or-break-it stage which sets the foundation of union or tears it apart.

But successful navigation through the Party Time and Lenten Season leads to…

A New Life

Babies, bunnies, and eggs galore!

Ever wonder why bunnies abound at Easter time? Well, what are rabbits so good at? Propagating new rabbits. I mean, life.

Yes, babies are often the result of married couples or other committed unions but new life is more than just the literal flesh and blood. Once we make the commitment, whether it be a heart or legal agreement, a new life has begun. And as research shows, a far better one than staying single.

Happy couples benefit from lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, longer life expectancy, and the comfort and joy of life-time companionship, to name a few.

Click here to read more about the benefits of love and relationships.

Finding the Balance

This is key. Some relationships explode because it’s all party and no substance. Others slowly fizzle out because of the lack of fun and spontaneity. In order to continually reap the rewards of marriage and other committed unions, we must find the balance between work and play. Sacrifice and spontaneity. To keep the love alive.

Each couple has their own unique balance. Some may place more emphasis on play than others.

There is no right or wrong, only that the balance is agreed upon by both parties. This agreement helps create harmony within the relationship which is always a good thing.

So how about you? Have you been guilty of too much Mardi Gras and not enough Lent in your relationship? Or do you need to learn how to lighten up a little and earn some beads? Surely someone out there has mastered the balance… and yes, it does involve chocolate Care to share your tips on a happy union?

To learn more about Mardi Gras, like why they throw beads or bake babies in king cakes, click here.

Photos courtesy of dreamsunlimitedtravel.com & cajunchefryan.rymocs.com

This video leaves me in tears every time. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a brain scientist who had the rare opportunity to witness her own stroke, study it from the inside out, and bring back to us rare insight from her near-death experience.

She comments so eloquently on the enormity and beauty of life. Life seen from the right-brain perspective. A Harvard grad, Taylor says, “I’ve got as much out of this experience of losing my left mind as I have in my entire academic career.” She details her story in her New York Times Bestseller, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey .

Please take the time to watch this beautiful video. Like I said in Learning to Love the Meantime, no one seeks tragedy but oddly enough, it can be one of the best gifts we ever receive. And fortunately enough for us, Taylor’s experience not only inspired and changed her perceptions on life, but her story has managed to affect millions of other people. Her TED video alone has over 7 million views.

I’ve certainly had my share of trials and tragedies over the last five years that I thought I’d never get through. Death of my father, divorce, broken bones, and heartache from a man I was deeply in love with. But in a way, after sifting through the ashes, each gave me beauty and blessings I treasure to this day.

For instance, had my ex-boyfriend not broken my heart, I would’ve never moved to New York and realized a dream I’d held so dear since childhood. In that break, he gave me a gift. A gift that took me on this crazy gypsy journey and brought me back to my real mission in life. Helping others. And now, I couldn’t be happier. I learned what it takes to find fulfillment and now, nothing can take that away from me.

So now I wanna hear from you! What trials or tragedies have happened to you that changed the trajectory of your life for the better? Have you ever faced a devastation so horrible you thought you wouldn’t survive but now proudly wear that badge of honor that made you stronger? For those who watched Taylor’s Stroke of Insight, what did you think?

I’d love to hear from you and if you want to read more, here’s the direct link to Taylor’s story on TED.com.

Life is so precious.

Ask any parent as they first embrace their newborn child. Ask any victim of a plane crash who miraculously walked away. Ask any person who fought and won their battle with cancer.

No one seeks tragedy but oddly enough, it can be one of the best gifts we ever receive. Tragedy can shake us from our daily stupor and the effects on us can be life-changing.

One of the challenges of life is learning not to take it for granted. Wouldn’t you agree? It’s so easy to get side-tracked by all our many obligations, but I encourage us all to remind ourselves on a daily basis just how lucky we are to be here. And that we’re exactly where we’re meant to be, in this very moment.

Accepting that the credit card debt is just the reality of where we may be. Or accepting that we made mistakes in the past but are trying the best we can to make anew. Accepting that we’re not perfect, but we do what we can with what we’ve been given.

That we can still love our life now, despite the fact that we want more.

Often times, the expectation of where we think we’re meant to be  is what causes discord within us and our lives. Often hurting those we love the most. This idea that we’re supposed to have a certain car, or house, or partner, or salary is not what life is about.

Life is about giving to one another in love and service.

Life is about right here, right now, because tomorrow is never a guarantee.

Life is about learning to love the meantime because it may be all we ever have.

So many of us depend on when.

I’ll be happy when I get married.

I’ll be happy when I make partner.

I’ll finally be able to enjoy my life when I’m financially independent.

I hope we all achieve our wildest dreams, but what if we don’t? What if we come close but fall short of our intended goal? Can we still be happy?  Can we still enjoy our life?

Being happy in the meantime is really just about loving the now. And as I’m finding, once we can learn to love the now, life opens up and gives us exactly what we need to find fulfillment. May not always come in the package we expect, but I almost prefer it that way. Surprises are fun

So how about you? Do you find it easy to enjoy the meantime and find peace amidst the chaos of life? Or is it hard to enjoy the now? Did it take you a while to realize you could enjoy your life in the meantime or have you always had that joie de vivre about you? What helps you maintain your happiness on a daily basis? What tips and recommendations do you have?

Photo courtesy of sodahead.com

Parents.

For some of us, this single word brings up emotions we’d otherwise not feel. Some of us may be experiencing difficulties with our parents right now. Or maybe we’re hanging on to hurtful experiences from the past that still taint the way we see and interact with them today.

But regardless of what the word parent means to us, we need to recognize and remember that without them, we would not be here.

I make a concerted effort to tell my mom on a regular basis how much I love her, especially now realizing what it is I must’ve put her through. From ages 13 to 17, I was Sassy McSassy. Hell on wheels equipped with my father’s German temper and teenage angst. I made sure my voice was heard. Sneaking out of the house at night, rolling my eyes at them, bringing home N’s and U’s on my report card for classroom conduct.

Oy. I’m appalled when I think back to how I used to act but quickly forgive myself knowing it was just a phase of self-discovery and individuation that is normal for any teenager to go through.

Having gone through all the evolutions of parental perceptions that is normal as we mature into adulthood, I now see things I perceived as negative in a whole new light.

For instance, I carried certain resentments with me for years after the inciting incidents. I begged my parents to let me take gymnastics but was repeatedly denied. I wanted to do a school activity and signed up for track but because it interfered with ballet rehearsals, I had to quit. I had to stop riding horses, an activity I loved and had a lot of potential at, but because Dad feared I’d get a big butt and ruin my ballerina figure, I had to quit.

May sound trite to some but in my little teenage brain, it was a big deal. I felt like I never got to do what I wanted to do.

But at a certain point I realized that the reason my parents prevented me from engaging in certain activities was because they had my best interests at heart. Not because they wanted to shun my desires. They saw my potential and talent as a dancer and made the decision to keep me from situations where I could hurt myself and possibly threaten my future prospects.

Their decisions on my behalf were birthed from love. And isn’t that a parent’s job? To recognize their child’s strengths and cultivate their innate talents?

But how often do we hang on to the hurts and disappointments of the past? It’s a crutch that’s easy to fall onto but at a certain point it becomes our responsibility to claim our future as our own.  And not be held back by any perceived misfortune of our younger years but to let all that go and become the person we want to be now.

I now recognize my mom for the angel that she is and always has been. Her ballerina career was just beginning to take off when she got pregnant with me. For someone whose career depended on maintaining the utmost perfection with her body, she took this “surprise” in stride. Welcoming me into this world with open arms. And as she continued along a career path that required so much of her, she always managed to give me the love and support I needed to grow. She is the definition of what it means to live a grace-filled, grace-driven life. Even amidst my rants and raves, she always approached me with love and quickly forgave me for my faults.

I now recognize how lucky I am to have had my particular parents. At one point, they were willing to give up their careers for my own and move me to Paris to study with the Paris Opera Ballet, if I so desired. They took the time to personally introduce me to famous dancers such as Fernando Bujones and Darcy Bussell in an attempt to inspire me to the greatness of what I could be. And always stood by in the wings with a glimmer in their eye as I danced to the music they choreographed for me. And even though I ultimately decided not to become a professional ballerina, I am so grateful for the opportunities they blessed me with.

Reflecting on my childhood as compared to many other horrible stories of sexual abuse and poverty, I am ashamed to admit I ever had any negative thoughts considering my upbringing. But everything’s relative. What I went through was important to me at the time. But I later realized that using my past as an excuse for my perceived failures as an adult was just downright immature.

We always have to be careful what we deem as reality. Is what we’re perceiving the truth or just our perception of the situation? Can you love your parents for what they gave you instead of what you think they didn’t?

Parents have to sacrifice so much for their children. Something I can’t fathom since I haven’t had kids yet but seeing what my mommy friends go through, I am always in awe. I think it’s the ultimate love and something I hope to experience one day.

So how about you? Did you ever allow false thoughts about your parents to hold you back in any way? If so, were you finally able to reconcile those perceptions and love them for who they are? Do you feel not having a good relationship with your parents holds you back in life? For the parents out there, what do you feel the balance is with guiding your child but also allowing them to explore their own desires?

It’s better to be alone than in bad company.

My dad used to say this to me all the time growing up. What a wise man he was. And although he cautioned me about leaving my marriage with tales of his once lonely existence in New York, he ultimately supported my decision in leaving a union that no longer served the two of us involved. It’s not that either of us were bad people, but having been college sweethearts, we’d just grown our separate ways.

Since leaving my marriage in 2007 I am proud to declare I’ve remained single. With the exception of a one-year relationship directly following my divorce which still leaves me with four solid years of being on my own. A huge accomplishment for myself.

Knowing my tendency as a  serial-monogamist, I purchased a very expensive, designer dog just after my final relationship ended in 2009 to prevent myself from getting lonely enough to enter another relationship just for company.

[As a side note, I’m a huge adopter of stray animals. Have been my whole life but I knew that in order to have a dog in a New York City apartment, I needed a puppy that would only grow to a specific size. Five pounds max. I needed something portable and low maintenance.]

Said dog. Come on... you gotta admit she was worth it.

But I had just moved to New York and my friends cried,

Why would you get a dog in New York City? You’re never home. It’s going to tie you down. You just got your wings. You need to run free.

To which I replied:

Yes. But what you don’t realize is if I don’t get this dog, I will be tempted to get a boyfriend, and God-forbid a husband, which would be death to me at this point.

Sounds severe I know. But knowing my roller-coaster relationship woes in the past, they quickly shut their mouths and moved on to other subjects.

I had become the real-life version of the Runaway Bride. Down to the fact that just like Roberts’ character in the movie of the same title, I too had no clue how I liked my eggs. I’d been in a non-stop relationship marathon since the age of 14, with the exception of a one-year break, and had no idea who I was apart from a man.

I vividly remember driving down the road at the end of that one-year break at age 21 and finally feeling like I liked who I was. Feeling comfortable with being on my own. I was getting to know myself as Ingrid. Not Ingrid, “Such-and-Such’s Girlfriend.” Just Ingrid.

I was finally happy. On my own. When BAM! I ran into my future husband.

Without proper time for my authentic self to cure, I once again lost myself in a man.

So 15 years of being someone else’s half undoubtedly left me as half a person whenever they’d leave. There was a void, which inevitably I’d fill with another man. Monogamy was the perfect solution to my subconscious brain and you can’t blame it. It’s all I’d ever known.

Albeit the men I chose were always amazing. But I inherently knew, after my divorce, that I needed to meet myself before I could welcome anyone else into my life. And as I’ve often heard in the last five years, the best relationships are when two whole people come together in union. Not out of desperation or need, but with the intention of joining forces and sharing in the joys of life together.

So thank goodness for my Edie. Though not an official care-dog, she successfully helped guide me away from bad habits toward the person I’d always wanted to be. Strong, whole, and authentically me.

Now five years after splitting from the man I married, I can officially say I’m whole again. I’m no longer looking for a man to put me back together again. I no longer feel like Humpty Dumpty, cracked and broken, in need of someone to fix me. The job is done and while it wasn’t an easy task, it gave me my Threadbare Gypsy Soul which I wouldn’t trade for the world.

So as we approach our national Hallmark holiday in honor of St. Valentine I just want to give a shout-out of support to all my fellow Singletons. And instead of moaning and groaning about being alone while all the lovers out there ogle over their fancy dinners, remember, we cannot have what it is we condemn. If you desire to have a romantic relationship one day that may or may not lead to procreation, enjoy yourself for now. For the more you love and enjoy yourself, the quicker and more likely it is that you’ll attract the perfect mate that you so desire.

Go read my dear friend Kristen Lamb’s post, Twas the Night Before Valentines and have a good laugh! Treat yourself to a night on the town. And make a toast to yourself for standing alone since for some of us, it ain’t an easy thing to do.

Oh, and by the way, I like my eggs scrambled over-medium. A technique I came up with myself and they’re delicious.

So how bout you? Are you a serial monogamist? Do you feel people need to know themselves before getting in a relationship or does the relationship help them know themselves? What are your opinions on what makes commitment work?

Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures

All my life I wanted boobs.

Well, I take that back. Only when I quit dancing and moved to Los Angeles did I begin to obsess over my cleavage, or lack there of. While I was dancing in Texas, it never fazed me. Nor did it faze my high school sweetheart who loved me just the way I was. But as soon as I hung up my toe shoes and headed for Hollywood, a seed of insecurity began to blossom within me.

In hindsight, it probably had more to do with the environment than internal workings but it soon became a problem. The silicon that surrounded me began seeping into my soul. I toyed around with my weight, hoping it would redistribute itself but instead, it went straight to my butt. I tried chest exercises and visualization techniques to no avail. Little blips of insecurity concerning my chest would flit across my mind at least once a day.

I prayed. I hoped. I wished. But still, no change.

I once confessed my woes to my curvaceously-blessed friend, Sammi, to which she replied,

“Ingrid. You have beautiful little pippins.”

“Pippins?”

“Yes. Pippins. They’re so dainty and proportionate and perfect for YOU. You’d look funny if you had boobs.”

To which I blushed. And for a moment, I believed her.

The men in my life never seemed to mind. During our marriage, my ex-husband would scoff any time I’d mention my size and again would tell me I was perfect just the way I was. After my divorce I dated a guy who refused to let me complain about my breasts and in bed would lovingly say,

“When you’re with me, you’re not gonna to cover up. I love your body.”

He said it with such sincerity but I couldn’t accept his words as my own. I couldn’t let go of the fact that I yearned each day for a C in place of my A. Or at least a full B. Was that too much to ask?

Finally sick of it all, I scheduled a consultation with a plastic surgeon. By God, I wasn’t going to live another day thinking or dwelling on something that I could, in fact, change. Why not? Everyone else was doing it. In LA it was, and still is, akin to getting a facial or having your nails done. It’s commonplace. I was an anomaly for not having fake boobs.

I endured the topless visit where the surgeon told me I was indeed a great candidate. And he explained the procedure in such a way that made me feel comfortable and confident with my decision to change my body.

But ultimately I just couldn’t do it. The idea of being cut into and having foreign objects placed inside of me for the rest of my life, and all the complications that could ensue, freaked me out.

So now I was faced with the fact that unless I ever have kids, this was it for me. I was going to have to accept my body the way it was.

Over time I’ve come to accept this part of myself more and more. I can’t say I still don’t long for a cupeth that spilleth over but it no longer occupies my everyday thinking.

Instead I choose to focus on what I do have and express my gratitude for it.

I am grateful that I have a strong and healthy body which allows me to climb mountains, swim seas and explore the world.

I am grateful that I have two arms and two legs that allow me to dance or run a race while some are bound to wheelchairs for the rest of their lives.

I am grateful that I’ve been able to retain my ballet figure with little to no effort years after quitting and I can eat whatever I want without gaining a pound.

I am grateful to have friends in my life who reflect back to me the beauty of who I really am inside and out. Come to find out Merriam-Webster defines a “pippin” as:

a highly admired or very admirable person or thing.

I think Sammi is a keeper.

As my love and gratitude grow for what I do have in my life and for what my body provides, that little voice of dissatisfaction is banished to its cave and no longer heard. But I must be vigilant in minding my thoughts to ensure I never go down that road of self-rejection and self-loathing ever again.

So how about you? How would you rate your self-image? Are there things about your body you wish you could change? Can you accept yourself the way you are? Or if it is something you can change, like your weight, can you finally do something about it? Are there things about your body, like freckles or a gap between your teeth, that used to bother you but now you accept as part of who you are and your uniqueness? Come on… I showed you mine, now show me yours.

Inspired by a Sam Levinson poem, author August McLaughlin created Beauty of a Woman BlogFest to which I’m a proud contributor. Head on over to her blog on Friday, February 10th, to read more stories on beauty and self-image and for chances to win awesome prizes, including a Kindle Touch or a $99 Amazon gift card, body image coaching, BOAW mugs, and more.

Photo courtesy of artflakes.com

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
Nothing you can say, but you can learn
How to play the game
It’s easy.

Nothing you can make that can’t be made.
No one you can save that can’t be saved.
Nothing you can do, but you can learn
How to be you in time
It’s easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown.
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where
You’re meant to be
It’s easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.

~The Beatles

This month’s series is all about LOVE. Not just because of the impending Hallmark holiday but because really, what else matters?

Without love who are we? What do we have if not love? How do we reach our dreams without a lotta love?

Just as a newborn child will not survive without the love of a caregiver, neither will our dreams. They, too, are tiny, vulnerable specks inside of us that need an abundance of love and protection since they themselves can’t defend against dream crushers or dragons. We must coddle our dreams until they are viable on their own and even then, once they come to fruition, love is vital to ensure their existence.

I know as we trudge through adulthood we tend to get jaded. Lose heart. Lose faith in dreams and relationships gone by. But in order to live the life we’re meant to have we must stay true to our hearts and remind ourselves that in the end, love is all that really matters.

Love for self. Love for others. Love for the world.

Each one of us has an abundance of love to give and as I’ve found, the more you give the more you receive. So if you want to have an abundant life on all ends, start lovin’. If you want to change your life, start lovin’.

Because as Lennon and McCartney so eloquently state, there’s nothing you can do that can’t be done. All you need is love.

Photo courtesy of keepingyouwell.com

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans.

That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.

~William Hutchinson Murray

This quote gives me chills every time I read it. There is so much power in commitment. In making that bold declaration to the world about what we want. And I’ve experienced it many a time. That the moment I committed to something, all kinds of things ushered into my life that I would’ve never dreamt possible.

On the journey toward our dreams there is no time to waste. We either go for it full force or choose another direction. It’s as simple as that. I spent enough years in hesitancy to realize it does no good. Life is way too short to wallow in confusion.

If you’re unhappy with your life, just pick something. Anything. Don’t worry about whether or not it’s “right.” The discovery is in the doing. If you have a hunch about something, go for it. Your heart already knows the way. It’s probably been whispering its secret desires for quite some time. Honor that. It knows you better than anyone else.

Tame the dragons in your life. Battle your dream crushers with a warrior spirit. Mind your thoughts for they are the foundation of your destiny. But most importantly commit, for nothing can begin without that first step.

I’ll be taking a quick business trip this week and will be back next Monday with a whole new series.

Until then, happy dreaming!

Photos courtesy of sportales.com & ffden-2.phys.uaf.edu

“It’s the independent American spirit that built this country.

Hard-working entrepreneurs who believe in the reality of their dreams.”

~ Robert E. Hughes

I put together a list of blogs that are chock full of resources to help us reach our dreams. Take a look and let me know what you think!

One Degree Off Course: I first heard about this concept on a New York City bus and was riveted by what I heard. Essentially for every mile a pilot flies off course, he’ll be 92 feet from his intended target. May not seem like a lot but the further he travels, the farther he gets from his destination. Tim Enochs relates this to staying on course in our own lives.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself: This is an amazing list by Marc and Angel Hack Life. While it’s vital to stay focused on goals and the direction we’re headed, it is equally important to remedy our destructive habits to ensure we have a clear path toward our dreams.

The Road to Success Part 2: Understanding the Why Behind the Buy: This is a great post by my friend and mentor Kristen Lamb and appeals to anyone who feels icky when they have to sell something. Especially artists who are often put in the position of having to “sell” themselves. She talks about the importance of motive and how this can affect your overall success.

The Healing Power of Saying Yes: This blog by Jen Louden reminds me so much of what we’re taught in improv classes. It’s the whole principle of “Yes, and…” Saying yes to each moment of your life and not resisting anything. Applying this principle will make for a much smoother ride in our daily lives.

Trusting Your Instincts: This may prove to be a life-saving post for some of us. August McLaughlin reminds us to listen to our instincts and as we journey out into the unknown, I think we should all take a moment to heed her advice.

And just a little reminder to double-check our course of action since persistence can look a lot like stupid.

Photo courtesy of woory.org